


No matter what happens, we'll be okay.

by Sasou_Amalie



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Comfort/Angst, Drugs, F/M, Fluff, Mild Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 10:06:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14330142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasou_Amalie/pseuds/Sasou_Amalie
Summary: "We both wished we could drive. I just wanted to drive away. We wanted to go on road trips. And eat lots of Sour Patch Kids that we would buy from gas stations."MR. ROBOT eps3.7_dont-delete-me.koElliot and Angela finally get to go on the road trip they wished for so many times.





	No matter what happens, we'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any punctuation or grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.  
> Hope you enjoy this anyways.

Angela sat huddled up on the passenger side, her bare feet touching the old, crinkled leather of the seat. She looked at Elliot, whose brows were furrowed in concentration as he was steering the car with one hand, the other resting in the rolled down window.  
He was wearing his usual zipper, but the hood was bunched on his shoulders this time, revealing his profile.  
Angela noticed how much sharper Elliot’s jawline had become in the past year, almost as if all the anger, pain and sorrow hardened his face. Her eyes grazed the patchy stubbles on his face, and she smiled at how carelessly he had shaved. This was true Elliot, he never gave a shit about his looks. Most people would perceive him as the average teenage nerd, but Angela knew better, although she’d sometimes argue that he spent too much time inside his own head.

Today was one of those days, he hadn’t spoken a single word since they pulled out her Dads driveway. Angela was never bothered by Elliot’s reluctance to share, they were so close that words were unnecessary, but after spending an hour in radio silence, she wanted to know what was occupying his thoughts.

„I wish I could read your mind.“, she blurted out.  
Elliot answered with one of his crooked half-smiles, that seldom reached his eyes.  
„Trust me, you wouldn’t like it.“   
„Try me!“  
He answered with a huff „I’d rather talk about what to do on this road trip. We actually never planned any further than leaving Washington Township.“ He shot Angela a quick glance, which prompted her to sit up and prop herself on her folded leg.  
„Quit changing the topic.“, she replied with a light chuckle. A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.  
„I’m serious, Elliot, you can always talk to me, you know that.“  
„Yeah.“ He looked at Angela, who pouted her lips like a sulky child and his smile almost crept up to his eyes.  
She sighed. „I think we always agreed to buy a bag of Sour Patch Kids at a gas station.“  
Elliot nodded his head „Fuck yeah, let’s do this!“

He signaled right as soon as a gas station appeared on the side of the road. As he pulled up next to the gas pump, Angela jumped out of the car. Her long blonde hair swung behind her back as she walked barefoot into the shop. Elliot watched her through the window als she slowly strolled through an aisle, randomly picking up stuff. She must have felt his eyes on her, because she looked up, waving a package at Elliot, signaling him to get inside.  
„Hey, do you want the small or the big package?“, she asked, looking at him with her doll eyes, holding two bags.  
„Big, for sure.“, Elliot answered and Angela handed him the package.  
„Do we need anything else?“ She looked around. „Uh, I’m in the mood for a milkshake!“  
_Right now, in this moment, I should be incredibly happy._  Elliot stared at Angelas back while she got drinks at the counter.  _Why can’t I shake this looming feeling of falseness?_  He felt a shiver running down his spine and shook his head to rid himself of the intrusive thoughts.  
„I hope Coke’s okay.“, Angela remarked, giving him a giant cup.  
„It’s fine.“, Elliot said, but more to himself than Angela.

He tossed her the bag of Sour Patch Kids before going to the driver side of the car.   
Angela opened the door and plumped on the seat „I feel kinda bad for leaving Darlene behind.“  
„Why?“  
„I don’t know. She had the saddest look in her eyes when we drove off.“  
„She’ll be okay. Guess she’s gonna crash with one of her stoner friends from school to avoid mum. “, Elliot shrugged. „Darlene doesn’t spend that much time at home anyways, so Mom’s not gonna notice.“   
„Ugh, the day I leave Washington Township for good will be the happiest day of my life!“, Angela sighed. „I can’t wait to move out of this house, where everything reminds me of my Mom. I don’t get how Dad can take it, it’s fucking depressing.“   
She looked at Elliot with glaring eyes „What if we just keep driving and never come back?“  
He stared into her eyes for a while, overwhelmed by the sudden look of determination in Angelas face.  
„I’ve felt the same for such a long time.“, he said in a low voice. „But I can’t bail on Darlene now.“  
Angela turned her face and wiped away a single tear that was streaming down her cheek. „I know. But I find the thought comforting.“  
Elliot gave her a short nod, then turned the key in the ignition.

A constant, nerve-wrecking slurping noise accompanied Angela finishing her milkshake.  
„Guess what flavor it was.“, she said while taking the lid off the cup to check for any remains.  
„Strawberry.“, was Elliot’s quick answer. „You always choose strawberries, whether it’s a milkshake, ice-cream or chewing gum. It has been like this for all the years I’ve known you.“  
She giggled „Yeah, maybe it’s time to change things up a little.“  
Elliot looked at her, but she was staring out of the window, her face framed with hair strands moving in the airstream.  
„What do you mean?“  
„You know I’ll hate it when you leave for tech school next year.“, she said so softly, the end of the sentence turned into a whisper. „How do I get through this without you?“  
„It won’t be the end of the world, I’m not even leaving the State.“, Elliot told her in a comforting tone. „You’re always welcome to drop by and hang out for a few days.“ She kept looking outside and Elliot felt a sharp stab of sadness in his chest. Angela had been his best friend for over ten years, losing their parents under the same circumstances had brought them together. As their lives turned upside down, they found comfort and solace in each other, which only forged their special bond.  
A feeling of hopeless love rolled over him like a wave and all he could think about was how close he felt to her, right here, in this car. Had he ever loved anyone more than he loved her? _Sure, I care about Darlene, but our relationship has always been troubled. With her, everything was a competition. She even learned how to code just to spite me. Dad was the only person who truly understood me, but he is gone._ The crushing despair tightened his chest and he felt tears in his eyes as he clenched his jaw so the sob building in the back of his throat would not escape his mouth.

As Angela turned her head to look at Elliot, she noticed his jaw grinding. His rigid facial expression would fool anyone but her, she could almost feel his inner battles being fought.  
„Elliot…“, she said in her softest voice, prompting him to look at her with an empty stare. „What’s wrong?“  
„Nothing.“, he said emphatically, but Angela saw his knuckles on the steering wheel turn white as he tightened his grip.  
„Don’t lie to me.“, she scolded him, her voice breaking.  
„Shut the fuck up.“, he spat out hastily, rubbing his face with one hand.  
Angela let out a deep sigh of resignation, crossing her arms in front of her chest. „You can’t talk to me like that.“  
Elliot drove to the side of the road and slowed down the car. Engine still running, he placed his forehead on his hands on the steering wheel.  
„Sorry.“, he said, his voice rough and tired. Angela unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, slamming the door.  
He lifted his head, looking through the windshield he saw Angela pacing next to the car, turned the engine off and exhaled.  
Angela came over to the driver’s side and propped herself in his window.  
„I hate it when you lash out at me.“, she said without any accusation.  
„I know.“, Elliot said, rubbing his face again, staring at her with an exhausted expression.  
She looked Elliot in the eye. „Just let me in.“ then touched his cheek with her fingertips, feeling rough stubble and his tensed muscles. She noticed a pulling sensation in her stomach as she put her thumb on his other cheek, right next to his full lips. Elliot was still staring at her, but the emptiness in his gaze had been replaced with astonishment. She wanted to drag her fingertips along his jaw and watch him fall apart under her soft touch so badly. Elliot blinked slowly, his pupils dilated, Angela could barely make out the grayish blue of the iris that always gave his eyes a serious, rather cold appearance. The thought of how it would feel to kiss those lips had crossed her mind more than once, but the curiosity was always accompanied by hesitance. A kiss had the power to turn their whole friendship into something completely different and she was not ready to sacrifice such a special relationship to her simple, stupid desire.  
„Angela…“, he said.  
„Come on, let’s find a place where we can stay for the night.“, she took her hand off his face, her thumb grazing his lips.  
Elliot watched her as she made her way back to the passenger side, his heart racing, lips burning with heat where Angela had touched them.

***

Elliot pulled over. „Are you okay with sleeping in this shady-ass motel tonight?“  
Angela nodded her head while putting a handful of Sour Patch Kids in her mouth. „Yes.“, she mumbled, pulling a face. „This way it will feel like a true adventure!“  
She let out a short laugh: „I also brought some party favors.“, and held up a small bag of weed.  
„You’re sure you wanna get high for the first time while we’re in the middle of nowhere?“, Elliot frowned.  
„Jesus Christ, stop patronizing me. You and Darlene get high ALL the fucking time!“, Angela said heatedly.  
„Where did you get that stuff anyways?“  
„One of Darlene’s stoner friends sold it to me, so that stuff should be good.“  
The car slowed down as Elliot was parking next to the motel rooms. „I’ll take your word for it!“

***

„How about smoking that joint now?“, Angela asked after they finished their modest dinner provided by the snack machine around the corner of their room. „I think now will be as good as any other moment on this trip.“  
„Yeah, but I can’t get high in this room.“, Elliot said, pulling the curtain aside, looking out of the window. „The seediness makes me itch. But theres a lovely strip of nature across the street, let’s hang there.“, he said smug-faced.  
Angela shrugged and got off the bed „Let’s go then.“

She sat down on a withered picknick table that had seen better days while Elliot stood leaning against it. Looking at the sunset, she wordlessly handed him the weed. Elliot placed his empty cup of Coke on the table and pulled the papers out of his pocket. He took several pieces out of the bag and started crumbling them on the paper. Angela marveled at Elliot’s deft fingers as he was spreading the weed evenly on the paper only to skillfully pack it, then roll it up into a joint. His lips caught her eye again as he moistened the paper with his tongue tip. Elliot used the car keys to push the weed into the joint and closed it with a twist. He held it out to Angela while he was fishing his lighter out of his zippers pocket.  
Angela shook her head and let out a soft laugh „No, you go first!“  
Sticking the joint between his lips, Elliot flicked the lighter and shielded the flame with his hand.  
The warm light of the flickering miniature fire illuminated his face and made it look softer, contrasting with his knitted brows. He looked Angela dead in the eye taking the first drag, then tilted his head back to let out a steady stream of thick smoke, causing the hood to slip off his head, revealing disheveled strands of curly hair.  
„That shit’s pretty good.“, he said appreciatively, his voice muffled from the smoke.  
„Told ya!“, Angela teased and gave him a light punch to the shoulder. „Thanks for doing this with me. I mean we wished for it a million times, it feels unreal that it’s finally happening.“  
„Stop talking.“, Elliot handed her the joint. „And start with a light drag, otherwise you’ll end up with a coughing fit.“  
Their fingers touched for a brief moment when Angela took the smoldering joint from Elliot, leaving her electrified. Her hand was shaking as she put it to her lips and carefully drew on it. She noticed her eyes tearing up when her mouth filled with the earthy smoke.   
_Fuck, how do I inhale this shit now?_  Angela tried to take a deep breath, but the smoke felt scratchy her throat and got stuck half way down to the lungs. Her attempt to quickly blow it out endet with her spluttering.  
Elliot sneered as Angela started coughing heavily, then started patting her on the back, taking the joint from her.  
„Breathe Angela, you’re gonna be fine.“  
„Fuck, I think I gotta puke.“, Angela tried desperately to catch her breath, frantically jumping of the tabletop.  
„Calm down.“, Elliot took another drag and smiled at Angela as he let out the smoke through his nostrils. „Just take deep, regular breaths. We’ll try again.“  
„Not sure if I want to.“, Angela remarked, wiping tears and smeared mascara from her eyes. „God, my throat hurts.“ She choked. „FUCK!“ Her scream travelled through the night.  
Elliot looked at her, indifferently, smoking the joint. She bent over, spitting on the ground.  
When she came back up, the look of determination Elliot had seen before had returned to her face „Give me that fucking joint!“ She threw her hair back. He followed her demand, handing her the remains. „Just take one slow, deep breath.“, were the only instructions he gave her.  
Angela stood next to the field, gazing into the distance, as she inhaled the smoke. She turned her head to look at Elliot, smoke escaping her mouth in translucent curls, fading into the night. He saw shimmering trails of tears on her cheeks.

***

He had given up hope on falling asleep a few hours ago. Instead he stared at the ceiling, thinking about the day he met Angela. It must have been one of the court days, he remembered holding Darlene’s hand so he wouldn’t loose her in the crowded hallway. Their Mom had left the building to have a smoke, leaving them behind, confused, sad and alone.  
Elliot felt uncomfortably aware of all the strangers surrounding him, so he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.  
He tried to calm the raging storm inside his head by thinking about his latest computer-project: programming his own website. He already knew how to rip the code from other websites, now he wanted to try out different designs and was recalling some of the strands of code, as he felt a slight tug on his left hand.  
„Do you think Mom will be back soon?“, Darlene asked. He opened his eyes and looked across the hallway, his glance meeting the tear-filled, big blue eyes of a girl on the other side of the crowd. He felt as if she was staring right into his soul, pinning him down, unable to move he stared right back.  
The girl wiped her nose with her sleeve and blinked, then looked away. He noticed that she was holding a huge hand, probably her fathers, so he shifted from one foot to the other to see. It was Don Moss, the husband of Emily Moss, one of his fathers colleagues. Elliot remembered her, she came by their house a few times and he was always weirdly captivated by her piercing, light blue eyes.  _So the crying girl is their daughter… What was her name? Anna? No, but something similar… Angela?_  
Elliot looked at her again. Yeah, Angela would be fitting, with her light blonde hair and those haunting eyes she kinda looked like an angel. He tried to remember if he had seen her in the streets before but blanked completely, like this exact moment was the first time he ever saw her.  
„Why’s that girl staring at us? She scares me!“, Darlene looked up to Elliot, eyes wide with fear.  
„Dunno.“, Elliot mumbled and had one last look at her, but she was talking to her father. „Let’s go outside.“

Angela moving next to him pulled him back to reality. He turned his head only to find her, wrapped up in his hoodie, awake and looking at him.  
„I still wish I could read your mind.“, she whispered, her eyes reflecting the soft moonlight.  
„I thought about Dad earlier.“, Elliot began, his voice husky. „And how sorry I feel for not making amends with him before he passed.“  
Angela brushed a few loose strands behind her ear.  
„There was all this rage and disappointment inside of me because he made me feel so helpless. And he didn’t care about it, he was like ‚I have cancer, Kiddo, and there’s nothing I’m gonna do about it. Just wanted to give you a quick heads up, so you can get used to the thought of me dying! Please don’t tell your Mom or Darlene.‘“, his voice grew louder with every word. „I don’t know how to let go of all this anger inside me. Evil Corp should’ve bled for this but NOTHING HAPPENED! THEY ARE FUCKING FINE!“ Elliot sat up, breathing heavily. „How the fuck am I supposed to live with this?!“ He smashed his fist into the headboard, leaving one of his knuckles bleeding.  
„Why did he leave me like this?!“ Elliot jumped up, then stumbled out of the room, a few steps into the parking lot and fell on his knees. Angela hurried to get out of the room, pulling Elliot’s hoodie around her body.  
He ruffled his hair, face grimacing in pain, tears spilling from his eyes.  
„Shhh.“, Angela cooed, perching next to him. „It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.“ She threw her arms around his chest, awkwardly hugging him sideways, feeling his body tremble with every heartbreaking sob he let out. She put her head on his shoulder, holding him tight, whispering „I know, I know, I know.“  
„I… I…“, Elliot stuttered helplessly.  
„It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.“, Angela whispered, not letting go.

Elliot sat on the bed, one of his legs hanging off, smoking.  
Angela was fast asleep, lying next to him, using his zipper as her blanket.  
He felt the shame burning in his stomach and wished Angela hadn’t seen him lose his shit like that.  
Taking a drag, he thought about that one time his Dad accidentally pushed him out the window. Elliot had told his mother about his fathers sickness. Edward was so disappointed with his son, that he shoved him away when Elliot wanted to apologize, tragically leading to the kid taking a fall and breaking his arm.  
After that day, their relationship was changed forever.  
Elliot sighed and put the cigarette out, then went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a leak. Upon his return Angelas face caught his eye. Lit by a strip of moonlight that sneaked through the curtains, her facial expression was the epitome of innocence. He felt a slight tug at his heart and went on to cover Angela with one of the sheets. Letting out yet another heavyhearted sigh, Elliot unbuckled his belt and got out of his jeans before slipping under the covers to sleep right next to her.

Angela jolted out of her slumber when she heard Elliot yell into the silence of their room. She turned around, only to see that he was asleep, caught in a bad dream. He was on his back, writhing underneath the sheet, mumbling incomprehensible words between moans, eyes pressed shut, jaw clenched.  
Angela wiggled herself free from his hoodie and the blanket only to stretch out next to him, carefully placing her hand on his chest.  
Elliot’s mumbles turned into whispers as he calmed down, twitching occasionally, beads of sweat on his forehead.  
Her heart hurt, wishing she could take away all his pain, shoulder his burden that wasn’t so different from hers after all, but seemed to affect him in so many more ways. A soft sigh left his mouth as Angela put her hand on his cheek, wiping away the sweat on his temple with her thumb. Seeing this soft and vulnerable side did not surprise her, even though Elliot liked to keep up an aura of indifference and aloofness around most people. She loved him for being as broken as she was, the both of them somehow forming something whole again.  
As her hand trailed down his cheek, he opened his eyes and turned to face her, pitch black irises, brows furrowed in question.  
„Angela, wha…“, he whispered, but she put her thumb on his mouth.  
„Shhhhhh.“, she let her finger wander across his lips. Elliot tried to catch her gaze, but she was looking at the lower part of his face, eyes wide with wonder, trying to figure out if she should take the leap of faith and just give in to everything she desired right then and there.  
She looked up, finally catching Elliot’s glance, pinning him down, trying to find out if he wanted this as much as she did. She felt his lips part underneath her finger, and the pulling sensation in her stomach returned as Elliot’s index finger tilted her chin upwards, bringing her mouth closer to his, breathing the same air. He lowered his lids, ready to plunge, Angela let out a wanton moan as he pressed his lips onto hers.  
The force of his kiss caught her off guard, she felt their teeth grazing, her hand wandered along the sharpness of his jawline only to dig into his head full of thick, unruly curls. His lips tasted like musky remnants of the joint, toothpaste and salt and were softer than she ever could have imagined. Angela felt his hand on her hips, fingers digging into her skin, trying to pull her closer during another breathless kiss. She moved towards to him, only to feel his arousal, turning the pulling sensation into a fire raging inside her, burning her skin, leaving it tingling from head to toe. She put her hand on his chest, slowly descending to his stomach causing him to buck into her hips. Ready to be consumed by the fire, to be burned down to the ground and rise from the ashes like a phoenix, Angela let go and surrendered to her desire. She wantonly pushed her hips towards his, slowly grinding on him, prompting him to break their kiss and let our a noise somewhere between a moan and a hiss. Angela had never felt more powerful and vulnerable at the same time, drunk on this feeling her lips were longing for Elliot’s, but he pulled back.  
„Angela, I’m not sure if I can…“, he said, his voice breathy. She looked him in the eye, his expression a mixture of lust, concern and sadness and in the back of her mind she realized that something had changed between them, he looked at her differently.  
Holding his gaze, she pushed two fingers behind the cuff of his boxer shorts, slowly moving them along his stomach, grazing his tip. Elliot quivered and hissed a curse, his hips bucking against hers.  
„Are you sure you wanna stop?“, she asked, amused that his body acted to the contrary.  
„Angela.“ The urgency in his voice prompted her to pull her hand back. This isn’t a game, she reminded herself, this is Elliot. She compressed the breath she had been holding into a frustrated huff and rolled on her back. She still felt the heat between her legs, the urge to go over the edge and enjoy the free fall, as she stared at the ceiling.  
The sheets rustled next to her.  
„It’s not like I didn’t want you.“, he said helplessly. Angela turned her head to look at him and saw all her reservations mirrored in his face.  
„I know.“, she sighed. „Fucking close call, though.“ She snorted, causing a smirk on Elliot’s face. He put his hand next to hers, fingers barely touching.  
„Let’s just stay here like this, for now.“, he said, turning his head to look at the ceiling, too.

Elliot lay there, thoughts racing, loans aching, trying to figure out why he couldn’t bring himself to surrender to his deepest feelings. He had thought about kissing Angela more than he cared to admit for the past few years, imagining how her lips would feel on his, strands of her hair between his fingers, the softness of her skin…  
She wouldn’t have been his first, he ripped that band-aid off several months ago, with one of the girls in his math class. Apparently fixing computers could get you into someones pants after all. It hadn’t been his proudest moment, but his performance must have been okay, given the fact that they shared a joint afterwards and she still greeted him with a smile in the hallway.  
But with Angela everything was different and somehow much more meaningful, since their lives had been intertwined for the longest time now. He did not want to risk the connection they had formed over the years, sharing a bed, playing their wishing game, getting lost all over their small town.  
A simple physical encounter could never express all the different facets of love he felt for her. Elliot turned his head to look at Angela, who was still staring into the void, lost in her own thoughts, and swore that he would follow her into the dark.

***

Angela woke up when the sun touched her face. The window was misty, Elliot was nowhere to be seen. She sat up, peeled off the blanket and yawned.  
„Elliot?“, she carefully asked. No answer. A nagging feeling of worry spread in her chest as she began to wonder if she had gone too far yesterday. She should have known better than pushing Elliot to the edge, forcing him into this uncomfortable situation. Angela climbed out of the bed, legs stiff from sleeping on the old, worn out mattress. She left the room and found Elliot sitting on the hood of her Dads car, a few parking spots down their room.  
„Did you even sleep last night?“, she asked, leaning on the hood next to him. He looked at Angela, a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.  
„Yeah, a few hours.“, he mumbled, taking a drag. He added a „Sorry about yesterday.“, not specifying what exactly he meant by that.  
Angela placed her hand next to his, only their pinkies touching. „Don’t be.“  
He blew out some smoke and looked away.  
She nudged him softly „Come on, let’s go and get breakfast somewhere, I’m starving!“  
Elliot threw the cigarette away and gave Angela another one of the crooked smiles she loved so much. „Okay.“  
Her face lit up and it was the most beautiful thing Elliot had ever seen. He got off the car and pulled Angela into a hug. He felt her small arms on his back, her fingertips digging into his shoulder blades. Her hair smelled like summer and fresh air, Elliot pulled her towards his chest and closed his eyes, she responded by putting her forehead on his collarbone and letting out a deep sigh. Maybe one day he would find the right words to tell her how he felt about her, but right now, in this exact moment, he was at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm not completely done with this, so there might be some minor changes along the way, maybe even a new chapter, because I really like the dynamic of the friendship between Elliot and Angela.


End file.
